Folks, every so often we receive an email or comment from someone who’s mistaken our little Selective Service: The MP3 Blog with Selective Service: The Government Agency (neither of which are as fun as Spaceballs: The Flamethrower). I suppose it could be a little confusing, having “Uncle Sam” (me) as an author and the rotating-and-more-convincing-than-I’d-thought photoshopped Uncle Sam image there to the right, but I guess we need to be a little more explicit, because earlier this week someone emailed us their contact information and SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER in the hopes that we’d be able to let him know the status of his paperwork.

I’ll be shortly adding a second disclaimer to the sidebar, but until then, please be aware:

This website has no affiliation whatsoever with the Selective Service System of the United States Government. This website is an MP3 blog and cannot help you in any way regarding your registration. Any personal information you send us will be promptly deleted and disregarded. Please visit http://sss.gov for information about the Selective Service System.

Clear enough? Please be careful when sending out extremely important personal information like SSNs! Does anyone really think that the US Government can be reached at a GMail account? Please, please, PLEASE read before sending info like that in anywhere.

Download: Wilco, “Misunderstood” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

See, “thrice upon a time” has a certain ring to it, but now there are four of us, so I went and looked it up and sure enough, there just isn’t a next word in the sequence “once, twice, thrice…” See what you’ve reduced me to, Mandel? Makin’ up words! As if I don’t already use too many of the already existing ones. Okay, onto this month’s Selection:

Stories! Tales, fables, parables, etc etc… This month we present some of our favorite stories in song form, the only qualification being that they are fictional (or at least fictionalized). Rest assured, we’ll do another playlist in the near future that focuses on real-life stories and people. But for now, we’re sitting pretty in “once upon a time” fairyland - so cuddle up, pull the covers over your chin, relax and let Peter Falk narrate you into… Never mind, that sounds kinda creepy. …Hmm, how about John Hurt? Yeah, John Hurt. Get him to do that narration thing he did on the Art Of Noise “DeBussey” album, or more recently in the film “Perfume”. There, that’s better. Sit back, relax and (hopefully) enjoy your magical mystery tour through The Kingdom Of Avuncula!

• Uncle Sam’s “Tellin’ Stories”
• UNKLE Matt’s “The Tall-Tale Art”
• The Man(del) from UNCLE’s “Here’s a story… of a lovely playlist”
• Onkel Rudi’s list is coming soon!

• Bonus list: Uncle Sam’s “Tellin’ (Nick Cave) Stories”

1. Billy Joel, “The Ballad Of Billy The Kid”
   This is one of the highlights off of Billy Joel’s second album, Piano Man. It’s a sort of “Piano Man” meets the theme to “The Magnificent Seven.” He gets into the realm of classic-era Elton orchestral pop here, but roughs it up with a little western twang. What’s surprising is the country-ish influences here…probably a byproduct of the album’s recording in Los Angeles. It’s definitely one of the more epic and sweeping songs in the Joel canon and commonly misconceived as an autobiographical song thanks to the twist in the coda’s lyrics. Oh…and STRING INTERLUDE! WHEE!
2. Elton John, “Ticking”
   This sprawling song about a young man who snaps capped off Elton’s 1974 album, Caribou. Compared to other songs Elton did at the time, the arrangement was quite sparse featuring Elton, a piano, some mellotron, and an organ. The lyrics are quite eerie thinking about since the song’s release events like Columbine and the UVA shootings have happened. An overlooked gem by Captain Fantastic…one that may not strike you at first but eventually grows on you.
3. Jim Steinman, “Dance In My Pants”
   Originally envisioned as part of the followup to Meat Loaf’s Bat Out of Hell, this song, along with the others for the original Bat II, found a home on Jim Steinman’s 1981 solo album, Bad for Good. Many critics hated this album, but I love it. In fact, a number of the songs on Bad for Good have been given the Meat Loaf treatment throughout the years, but this story of a man’s journey to cut the rug hasn’t been touched in a recording since Jim’s attempt. Meat Loaf duetter Karla DeVito provides the female vocals for this campy, but oh so awesome second stab at “Paradise by the Dashboard Light’s” success. How I wish there was a karaoke version of this!
4. Klaatu, “Long Live Politzania”
   For a brief period in the 70s, Beatles fans began to think that a Canadian band named Klaatu were really The Beatles recording under a pseudonym. The debut album had some Beatles-ish tedencies, but this song - one of the centerpieces of Hope (Klaatu’s 2nd album about a long lost civilization in space that destroyed itself after a deadly war) - takes the band into Pink Floyd territory. I personally adore the Politzanian anthem towards the end of the song…Delicious prog-rock goodness.
5. Jukebox the Ghost, “Fire In The Sky/Where Are All The Scientists Now?/A Matter Of Time”
   Continuing the streak of destruction is this three-song suite about the apocalypse. It closes out the debut album of Jukebox the Ghost, one of my favorite new bands and CDs of the year. The band is a three piece consisting of piano, guitar, and drums. Ben Thornewill (the piano player) and Tommy Siegel (the guitarist) trade off vocals and Siegel takes the lead on this mini-epic. It’s the most perky, upbeat song you’ll ever hear about the destruction of the world! I actually got to see them live a couple of months ago and they’re the real deal…every bit as good on stage as they are on recording. HIGHLY recommend getting the entire CD: Let Live and Let Ghosts.

Download: Billy Joel, “The Ballad Of Billy The Kid” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Elton John, “Ticking” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Jim Steinman, “Dance In My Pants” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Klaatu, “Long Live Politzania” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Jukebox the Ghost, “Fire In The Sky/Where Are All The Scientists Now?/A Matter Of Time” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

While compiling a big, unedited list of songs for this month’s theme, I noticed a pattern: songs by Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds, one after another after another after another. It’s no secret that he’s a class-A storyteller, so I decided he deserved his own list. Here are some of my favorite Cave tales:

1. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, “The Lyre of Orpheus”
   The title track from Cave’s 2004 double-album opus The Lyre Of Orpheus/Abattoir Blues. Greek mythology never sounded so vibrant.
2. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, “Where The Wild Roses Grow”
   A gorgeous duet with, of all people, fellow Aussie Kylie Minogue nicked from 1996’s Murder Ballads, an album brimming with dark tales of death. “Wild Roses” is Cave’s most commercially successful single, hitting #11 in the UK and #2 in Australia, and for good reason: the melody is absolutely gorgeous, and the Rashomon-like shifts in narrative perspective make it truly memorable.
3. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, “The Ballad of Robert Moore and Betty Coltrane”
   This Murder Ballads-era tune never made it onto a proper album, but it did surface on the 3-disc B-Sides And Rarities collection. Cave’s lyrics are vivid, making this tale of multiple identities, double-crossing, and multiple stabbings is a hoot.
4. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, “The Curse of Millhaven”
   This number from Murder Ballads (I didn’t want to take more than one track from a single album, but Murder Ballads is just so. damn. good.) is easily the probably the most fun, jaunty song about a teenage girl/serial killer you’ll hear all day. Really. The bouncy rhyming and extensive list of the dead also makes me pleasantly recall Edward Gorey’s The Gashlycrumb Tinies.
5. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, “More News From Nowhere”
   The epic final track from this year’s Dig, Lazarus, Dig!!!. Unpacking the lyrics is good, clean fun, so here’s a starting point: Homer’s Odyssey. Have fun.

Download: Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, “The Lyre of Orpheus” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, “Where The Wild Roses Grow” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, “The Ballad of Robert Moore and Betty Coltrane” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, “The Curse of Millhaven” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, “More News From Nowhere” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

1. Bob Dylan, “Lily, Rosemary And The Jack Of Hearts”
I’ve mentioned this song a few times but never had the time or space or opportunity to include it before. Thankfully, Uncle Sam enacted emergency powers and lifted the normal time restrictions so that these stories could be delivered in their own good time. And thus we have one of my favorite songs, a long rambling fable filled with colorful characters, double-and-triple-crosses, and (for Dylan) sweet melodic turns. It doesn’t really add up to a clear picture of what the hell is going on, but you’re sure glued your seat during the story. Ambiguity, as Emo Phillips once said, is the Devil’s volleyball - and this tale leaves you to fill in the blanks to your own delight.

2. Clarence Carter, “Patches”
Y’know how half the rap songs out there are of the “I came from nothing, worked my way up from the streets” etc? Well this guy didn’t even have streets. He had dirt. And when there was no crawdad, he ate sand. Yeah you heard me right.

3. Leonard Nimoy, “The Ballad Of Bilbo Baggins”
This just has to be one of the most awkward songs I’ve ever heard. Setting aside the image of a smiling bobbing Nimoy belting this one out with headphones on his head and a snap in his fingers is cringeworthy enough. Add on a chord structure that seems to have been thrown together by some kid who just finished taking Music Theory and wants to show off how many clumsy changes he can force poor Mr. Spock to try and find his way through. Nonetheless, entertaining and bizarre.

4. Rilo Kiley, “A Man / Me / Then Jim”
An economy-sized song, containing three stories in one! The title says it all, three tales about the “slow fade of love” from three different perspectives - two of them male even though Jenny Lewis is singing.

5. Ween, “Buenas Tardes Amigos”
Ween is a band that often sounds like a completely different bunch of people - sometimes from a different country or time period - from song to song even on the same album. In this instance we get Spaghetti Western in song form! It gets the Morricone formula so right, and tops it off with a cliche-and-twist-ridden tale worthy of Leone.

6. Jeffrey Lewis, “Back When I Was 4″
Another song I’ve mentioned a few times but never included on a playlist. I first heard this song one morning at work with 88.9 WERS on, playing miscellaneous “we’re a cool radio station” music. In this case I had to agree with them, as I stood mesmerized listening to Lewis’ entire (embellished) life story. Gotta love the references to comic books and old vinyl.

7. Bud Luckey, “Boundin’”
From the PIXAR short that played before “The Incredibles”. In case you need any visual aids, it’s about a sheep who feels ugly and out of place every year when he’s sheared - until a Jackalope wanders by and teaches him to just be himself. This one’ll get stuck in your head for a while.

8. De La Soul, “Millie Pulled A Pistol On Santa”
And finally we have the song representative of the whole “storytelling” aspect of rap / hip-hop. Historically it’s been pretty much the whole point of the genre, from The Sugarhill Gang and Melle Mel through NWA and The Geto Boys, all the way up to today. Along the way we’ve had Newcleus regaling us wth their battle with Superman, Slick Rick’s eerie “Moment I Feared” prediction about ending up in jail, A Tribe Called Quest’s trip to El Segundo and back, Adam Horovitz famously sneering, “Now here’s a little story I got to tell”, etc… Of all, I’ve picked this unforgettable slice of realism from De La’s second album. It holds your attention throughout with a hypnotic arrangement of chopped-in-half “Substitution” beat, Funkadelic loop, Jungle Brothers vocal sample, and most of all the rhyming pattern of the vocalists, whose lines seem to start late each line and then try to catch up but end up spilling over into the next couplet. Then it’s over, and you’re suddenly kicked out of the story and the song. It’s one of my favorite rap songs, from an album overlooked and underappreciated at the time, but now regarded as a classic of its era.

And they all lived happily ever after.
THE END

Download: Bob Dylan, “Lily, Rosemary And The Jack Of Hearts” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Clarence Carter, “Patches” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Leonard Nimoy, “The Ballad Of Bilbo Baggins” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Rilo Kiley, “A Man / Me / Then Jim” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Ween, “Buenas Tardes Amigos” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Jeffrey Lewis, “Back When I Was 4″ (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Bud Luckey, “Boundin’” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: De La Soul, “Millie Pulled A Pistol On Santa” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

So given that the songs this month are so rich in narrative detail, I think I’ll spend more time telling you about where the songs are from and less about their content — let the storytellers do their job, no?

1. Stars, “One More Night”
   Easily the most arresting thing on 2005’s Set Yourself on Fire, this tale sex amidst a crumbling relationship is given weight thanks to a jaw-droppingly gorgeous melody and the subdued back-and-forth vocals of Amy Millan and Torquil Campbell.
2. The Hold Steady, “Chillout Tent”
   It took until last year’s Boys and Girls in America album for me to find Craig Finn’s voice palatable (in both the literal and figurative senses). Thankfully, on Boys Finn learned to sing instead of just talk into the mic. A dash of Dave Pirner vocals doesn’t hurt, either.
3. Willie Nelson (with Merle Haggard), “Pancho and Lefty”
   I thought, “well, if Matt is going to take Johnny Cash for his list, I’m going to make sure Willie is representin’ on my list.” Then I discovered that Matt didn’t, in fact, include a Cash song, but I stuck with Willie anyway, because nothing’s better than two outlaws singing about two outlaws.
4. The Rolling Stones, “Prodigal Son”
   The Stones were at their delta-bluesiest on this stripped-down retelling of the biblical story from ’68’s Beggar’s Banquet.
5. The Gourds, “Ziggy Stardust”
   Obviously “Ziggy” would make it on my list, but I decided to pick the most oddball version I could find. This one comes from The Gourds, a hayseed quintet who got well-known after an awesome bluegrass cover of Snoop Dogg’s “Gin & Juice” hit the intarwebs a few years back. This cover comes from a tribute disc included with Uncut magazine a few years back, which made it into my collection courtesy Rudi.
6. Eels, “Jungle Telegraph”
   Every time I hear this song, I think of the classic Bugs Bunny ‘toon Gorilla My Dreams, where he gets adopted by a family of apes. Much swinging through trees ensues.
7. Garth Brooks, “Papa Loved Mama”
   This I couldn’t resist. It’s 2:52 of awesomely clichéd redneck revenge courtesy the (frankly) most cosmopolitan of modern country singers.
8. Paul Simon, “Darling Lorraine”
   Rudi & I were treated to this song’s first (partial) public airing when we went to a New Yorker Festival event where David Denby (right?) interviewed Simon in advance of the release of You’re The One. Simon whipped out a boom box & played most of the unfinished song to the assembled crowd. Very cool.

Enjoy the tunes!

Download: Stars, “One More Night” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: The Hold Steady, “Chillout Tent” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Willie Nelson (with Merle Haggard), “Pancho and Lefty” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: The Rolling Stones, “Prodigal Son” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: The Gourds, “Ziggy Stardust” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Eels, “Jungle Telegraph” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Garth Brooks, “Papa Loved Mama” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Paul Simon, “Darling Lorraine” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

So my brother’s in a band called Ten Minute Turns (in the name of journalistic transparency, I figured that was important to share right at the top). And (I swear to you, I’m not blowing fraternal smoke up your collective butts) they’re pretty good (ask Matt or Rudi — they’ll both vouch). Their debut album Sad Animals was in my top 10 albums of 2006, brimming with creative, everything-often-including-the-kitchen-sink sounds and über-catchy hooks. New material from their sophomore album Leaving Robot City is beginning to surface (and not just here — new song “Decimal Days” will shortly appear on Japanese radio — domo arigato, mister roboto!), and it’s definitely worth your attention.

Robot City is more polished than Sad Animals (somebody bought a couple of fancy new keyboards, too), and while their giddy energy has been reined in a bit, their knack for explosive, soaring choruses is perfectly intact. There’s lots to like about Robot City, but the most striking track has to be “Aluminum Shine,” with its pounding tom-toms & handclaps rhythm, shimmering guitar solo, and big, unbelievably catchy & powerful chorus. I dare you not to hit repeat a couple of times after listening:

Download: Ten Minute Turns, “Aluminum Shine” (mp3)

Like what you hear? Leaving Robot City isn’t available digitally or on disc yet, but dig into Sad Animals and the Sleepy Cranes EP over at Amazon MP3.

Everybody knows the feeling: your entire reality is slightly askew, things seem out of control, and everything you do seems to only make it worse.

It’s madness. It’s insanity.

As Roger Waters would say, you’re “on the run.”

This madness doesn’t have to be yours. It can be something you see in the world, or in other people, or in ideas, art, theatre or tea leaves.

And this madness has been an almost bottomless catalyst for musical innovation. Many say that Mozart’s best symphonic work was due to a STD-related insanity. Van Gogh’s personal struggles resulted in a “passionate donation” of his own ear to the cause of his art. Brian Wilson spent a lot of time in an in-home sandbox during his long, bipolar trip. And all chronicled their maladies in their art.

So we present this collection of tunes about — or inspired by — madness. Enjoy!

• Onkel Rudi’s “A Piece For And About Assorted Lunatics”
• U.N.K.L.E. Matt’s “A 25-Minute Lapse Of Reason”
• The Man(del) From U.N.C.L.E.’s “It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad Playlist”
• Uncle Sam’s “It’s not paranoia if they’re really after you”

Better late than never, right? Oh, and in response to Mandel, my post has with 100% more Cypress Hill than his (see the bonus at the end of the download links).

1. Tom Waits, “What’s He Building In There?”
   This intensely creepy and odd monologue is one of my favorite things about Mule Variations. The curious-neighbor-paranoia of the narrator totally makes me think of the crap-tastic Tom Hanks movie “The Burbs.”
2. Rockwell, “Somebody’s Watching Me”
   I know Michael Jackson is only here as a guest vocalist, but somehow the song feels like it’s really just about him.
3. Faith No More, “Midlife Crisis”
   What an odd choice for a lead single from Angel Dust, FNM’s dark follow-up to their multi-platinum hit The Real Thing. Mike Patton’s guttural, unhinged vocals (”My head is like a lettuce/Go on and dig your thumbs in”) completely scared away the MTV crowd, and the band was better for it.
4. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, “Dig, Lazarus, Dig!!!”
   Way to go, Sam, shoehorning a song from your newest obsession onto this month’s playlist. Not really: yes, the song is a cheeky modern updating of the biblical Lazarus story, but in Cave’s version, Larry (Laz) is driven mad, Howard-Hughes-style, by the modern world. “Mirrors became his torturers,” indeed.
5. Ramones, “Gimme Gimme Shock Treatment”
   Nurse Ratched would be proud.
6. Deltron 3030, “Madness”
   Nicked from the Del/Automator/Kid Koala hip-hop/sci-fi collaboration Deltron 3030, we find Del rapping paranoiac over futuristic strings. When did the violin become the official instrument of the mentally deranged? Was it “Cuckoo’s Nest”?
7. Violent Femmes, “Crazy”
   It would have almost been to easy to toss Gnarls Barkley’s classic “Crazy” onto this list, so I went the extra mile & tracked down this excellent, mandolin-fueled cover by Violent Femmes. Gordon Gano’s jittery vocals only add to the unhinged feeling the tune creates.
8. Eels, “My Descent Into Madness”
   One of the best numbers from their amazing Electro-shock Blues album, the song finds E getting inside the head of his sister Elizabeth, who spent some time in a mental health institution before her death. Dark stuff, but the cascading violin sample (again with the crazy strings!) is worth the price of admission alone.

Download: Tom Waits, “What’s He Building In There?” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Rockwell, “Somebody’s Watching Me” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Faith No More, “Midlife Crisis” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, “Dig, Lazarus, Dig!!!” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Ramones, “Gimme Gimme Shock Treatment” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Deltron 3030, “Madness” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Violent Femmes, “Crazy” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Eels, “My Descent Into Madness” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Bonus Track!
(It’s really the best version of the song)

Download: Richard Cheese, “Insane in the Brain” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

And now my list that’ll make you insane in the brain…insane in the membrane… with 100% less Cypress Hill!

1. Elton John, “Madness”
   This disco-ey track comes from Elton John’s A Single Man album. It was Elton’s first album featuring NO lyrics from long-time songwriting partner Bernie Taupin. Gary Osborne takes over the wordsmith-ering here with this song about the madness of violence and unrest in the world. Love the piano riff in this one, but it teeters just on the edge of corny and cheesy. Taupin is clearly missed here…
2. Queen, “I’m Going Slightly Mad”
   One of the highlights of the oft-forgotten Innuendo album by Queen. The was the last Queen album to be recorded and released while Freddie was alive. It’s a shame because it showed that the band still had some good songs in them. The track is weird, eerie, campy, and deliciously theatrical. The video is a hoot too.
3. Ben Folds, “Bitch Went Nuts”
   The newest song on the list…The title says it all. The madness of a breakup is captured in this cut from Ben Folds’ latest album, “Way to Normal” (an almost-complete return to form for Ben). There will be some who take issue with the NSFW, misogynistic lyrics on this one, but it’s got a melody that will stick with you like peanut butter on toast.
4. ABBA, “The Vistors”
   When this title track from ABBA’s last album was released as a single, its subtitle was “Crackin’ Up.” On the surface, it seems like the song deals with paranoia and could be seen as the Europop take on “They’re Coming to Take Me Away..Ha-ha,” but the story goes that this was Benny and Bjorn’s song about the Soviet’s treatment of political protesters in the late 70’s/early 80’s. Go figure…
5. Men At Work, “Overkill”
   Paranoia, insomnia, guilt, hallucinations…it’s all here in this wonderful single form Men at Work’s second album, Cargo. A dark, moody contrast to their landmark hit “Down Under.” If you like this, definitely check out the Lazlo Bane cover of this which features a cameo by Men at Work frontman Colin Hay!
6. Madness, “Waltz into Mischief”
   What set about “madness would be complete without a song by 80s Brit ska legends Madness? This comes from their Keep Moving album from 1984. It’s as if the nutty boys had joined the circus via a benefit for Mr. Kite!

Download: Elton John, “Madness” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Queen, “I’m Going Slightly Mad” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Ben Folds, “Bitch Went Nuts” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: ABBA, “The Vistors” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Men At Work, “Overkill” (AAC)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)

Download: Madness, “Waltz into Mischief” (mp3)
(Right-click/control-click link to download)